My Fixer Upper

Mel's statement, as dictated to Chief Brody:

"Well, we decided since we are going to continue along the east coast, why not do it by boat. So, we traded off our motor home and a bunch of cash and purchased this American classic, as seen in the photo above. Upon further inspection, we learned that the only reason that this much of the boat was showing was because it was sitting on the bottom of the bay. It appeared that our two week restoration may turn into another Mel Karasek multi-year project. In anticipation of completion, we had already bought a new 98 inch flat screen TV with surround sound to install. While under construction, we would be living in the Jeep. The water pumps had been running for two days. The hole was bigger than we thought. Next, we needed to power our boat, outfit it with a new interior, new exterior-well pretty much everything. We'd need some Stay Alive Life Jackets, if we figured out how to float our boat.

I sent Nancy in to investigate the boat's interior. I am pretty sure that there are man-eaters in there. I'd been waiting for her to come out but on the bright side, it'd only been a few hours since I'd seen her. Then, I decided that I may need to send the crew of the Orca in to kill off Jaws! Well, it's getting dark now, so we are calling off the search!"

Nancy's statement:

"After my exhausting three foot swim to shore, I laid there like a beached whale, wondering why Chief Brody and Mel had missed me in their extensive search. I am thinking that they were not looking that hard! After I found them at the restaurant, Mel did not seem to be grieving too badly-that is, until he turned and saw me standing there. The poor man broke down in tears."

It's a sob story, but one that had to be told. The end! Mel